[00:00.00]Welcome to the Internet (Explicit) - Bo Burnham
[00:00.11]TME享有本翻译作品的著作权
[00:00.11]Lyrics by：Bo Burnham
[00:00.23]
[00:00.23]Composed by：Bo Burnham
[00:00.35]
[00:00.35]Welcome to the internet
[00:02.18]欢迎来到网络世界
[00:02.18]Have a look around
[00:04.12]随便浏览一下吧
[00:04.12]Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found
[00:07.71]但凡你能想到的 在网上都能找得到
[00:07.71]We've got mountains of content
[00:09.63]网上有海量的内容
[00:09.63]Some better some worse
[00:11.58]有正面的 也有负面的
[00:11.58]If none of it's of interest to you you'd be the first
[00:15.44]如果网上没你感兴趣的东西 那你还真是头一个
[00:15.44]Welcome to the internet
[00:17.39]欢迎来到网络世界
[00:17.39]Come and take a seat
[00:19.10]来吧 请坐
[00:19.10]Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet
[00:23.03]你想看新闻 还是女星的玉足
[00:23.03]There's no need to panic this isn't a test haha
[00:27.26]不必惶恐 这不是什么考验
[00:27.26]Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest
[00:30.96]示意一下你同意与否 剩下的交给我们就好
[00:30.96]Welcome to the internet
[00:32.75]欢迎来到网络世界
[00:32.75]What would you prefer
[00:34.46]你会如何选择
[00:34.46]Would you like to fight for
[00:35.75]你是愿意为民权而战
[00:35.75]Civil rights or tweet a racial slur
[00:38.36]还是发种族歧视的推文
[00:38.36]Be happy be horny be bursting with rage
[00:42.75]是满心喜悦 欲火中烧 还是愤怒爆棚
[00:42.75]We've got a million different ways to engage
[00:46.28]我们有无数种方式让你融入网络世界中
[00:46.28]Welcome to the internet put your cares aside
[00:49.84]欢迎来到网络世界 抛开忧虑
[00:49.84]Here's a tip for straining pasta
[00:51.60]我看到捞意大利面的小窍门儿
[00:51.60]Here's a nine year old who died
[00:53.57]又看到一则九岁孩子不幸丧命的新闻
[00:53.57]We've got movies and doctors and fantasy sports
[00:57.24]网上有经典电影 有医生科普 有精彩绝伦的体育赛事
[00:57.24]And a bunch of colored pencil
[00:58.75]还有用彩铅绘制的
[00:58.75]Drawings of all the different characters in
[01:00.15]《哈利波特》里的角色之间
[01:00.15]Harry Potter f**king each other
[01:01.32]亲热的画面
[01:01.32]Welcome to the internet
[01:02.50]欢迎来到网络世界
[01:02.50]Hold on to your socks
[01:03.90]你要做好心理准备
[01:03.90]'Cause a random guy just
[01:05.12]因为会有陌生人
[01:05.12]Kindly sent you photos of his c**k
[01:07.31]给你发来不雅照片
[01:07.31]They are grainy and off putting he just sent you more
[01:10.70]照片模糊又恶心 可他却接连发了好多张
[01:10.70]Don't act surprised you know you like it you w***e
[01:13.65]别故作惊讶 你知道自己喜欢得不得了
[01:13.65]See a man beheaded get offended see a shrink
[01:16.29]在网上你会看到血腥画面 产生心理阴影 然后只能找心理医生开导
[01:16.29]Show us pictures of your
[01:17.28]你在网上发孩子的照片
[01:17.28]Children tell us every thought you think
[01:19.15]还毫不避讳地坦白自己所有的想法
[01:19.15]Start a rumor buy a broom or
[01:20.53]还有人在网上散布谣言 网购扫把
[01:20.53]Send a death threat to a boomer
[01:21.98]给老年人发死亡威胁
[01:21.98]Or D M a girl and groom her
[01:23.65]私信诱骗女孩
[01:23.65]Do a zoom or find a tumor in your
[01:25.18]开视频会议 甚至在网上确诊肿瘤
[01:25.18]Here's a healthy breakfast option you should kill your mom
[01:27.48]网上有健康早餐的建议 也有杀害母亲的不良诱导
[01:27.48]Here's why women never
[01:28.57]网上还能解答你
[01:28.57]F**k you here's how you can build a bomb
[01:30.90]为何有些女性不愿进行亲密行为 甚至连制作炸弹的教程都有
[01:30.90]Which power ranger are you take this quirky quiz
[01:33.93]刚想测测自己跟《恐龙战队》里哪个角色适配度最高
[01:33.93]Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids
[01:38.09]就看到奥巴马派遣移民为儿童接种疫苗的新闻
[01:38.09]Could I interest you in everything all of the time
[01:41.09]网络世界能否时刻抓住你的胃口
[01:41.09]A little bit of everything all of the time
[01:44.09]每时每刻 都有能吸引你的内容
[01:44.09]Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
[01:47.14]冷漠是悲剧 无聊是罪过
[01:47.14]Anything and everything all of the time
[01:49.74]在网上 你随时随地能找到任何消息
[01:49.74]Could I interest you in everything all of the time
[01:52.85]网络世界能否时刻抓住你的胃口
[01:52.85]A little bit of everything all of the time
[01:55.79]每时每刻 都有能吸引你的内容
[01:55.79]Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
[01:58.70]冷漠是悲剧 无聊是罪过
[01:58.70]Anything and everything all of the time
[02:11.40]在网上 你随时随地能找到任何消息
[02:11.40]You know it wasn't always like this
[02:18.54]你知道 并非有史以来就是这样
[02:18.54]Not very long ago just before your time
[02:26.03]早些年 在你还没降生的时候
[02:26.03]Right before the towers fell circa '99
[02:32.99]就在世贸大楼被袭击倒塌前 就是1999年的时候
[02:32.99]This was catalogs travel blogs a chatroom or two
[02:40.90]那时候只有电子目录 旅游博客和网上聊天室
[02:40.90]We set our sights and spent our nights waiting for you
[02:50.69]我们立好志向 彻夜等你到来
[02:50.69]You insatiable you
[02:55.70]而你是个贪得无厌的人
[02:55.70]Mommy let you use her ipad you were barely two
[03:03.43]妈妈给你玩儿平板电脑时 你差不多才两岁
[03:03.43]And it did all the things we designed it to do
[03:11.21]毕竟设计之初的功能它都已经具备
[03:11.21]Now look at you oh look at you
[03:17.12]看看现在的你
[03:17.12]You you unstoppable watchable
[03:26.63]已经沉迷网络无法自拔了
[03:26.63]Your time is now your inside's out honey how you grew
[03:33.65]你大势已至 你已表露决心 亲爱的 你怎么成长得这么快
[03:33.65]And if we stick together who knows what we'll do
[03:41.28]我们要是在一起 谁知道我们会做些什么
[03:41.28]It was always the plan to put the world in your hand
[03:51.36]让你主宰世界一直都是我的心愿
[03:51.36]Ha ha ha ha ha ha
[03:53.59]
[03:53.59]Ha ha ha ha ha ha
[03:55.93]
[03:55.93]Ha ha ha ha ha ha
[03:57.56]
[03:57.56]Ha ha ha ha ha ha
[04:00.88]
[04:00.88]Could I interest you in everything all of the time
[04:06.81]在网络世界 我能否时刻抓住你的胃口
[04:06.81]A bit of everything all of the time
[04:11.62]每时每刻 都有能吸引你的内容
[04:11.62]Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
[04:16.62]冷漠是悲剧 无聊是罪过
[04:16.62]Anything and everything all of the time
[04:20.37]冷漠是悲剧 无聊是罪过
[04:20.37]Could I interest you in everything all of the time
[04:23.32]在网上 你随时随地能找到任何消息
[04:23.32]A little bit of everything all of the time
[04:26.12]每时每刻 都有能吸引你的内容
[04:26.12]Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
[04:29.00]冷漠是悲剧 无聊是罪过
[04:29.00]Anything and everything and anything and everything
[04:31.62]在网上 你随时随地能找到任何消息
[04:31.62]And anything and everything and
[04:33.25]在网上 你随时随地
[04:33.25]All of the time
[04:38.02]能找到任何消息